Grief is an emotion caused by a great loss such as death or another major life event that causes extreme feelings of loss. It is a painful mental process that usually occurs in stages. Symptoms are feelings of disbelief, sadness, confusion and anger.
Our entire family is in grief right now, and it comes in waves. My husband once said that grief is not linear, it comes and goes. The process of working through grief is a difficult one. On the one hand, if you let go, and allow yourself to feel joy, you immediately feel guilty for being happy after suffering loss. On the other hand, if you walk around crying all the time, displaying your emotions openly, people think that you are possibly over-reacting.
My dad was never one to show much emotion at all. I remember when his mother died, he cried, but he kept it to hinself - like he did most things. The thing that I am missing the most is being able to call him and discuss every day things. That stupid Saints game last night. Who's going to the Super Bowl? How can I help my son find his path?
We all did it. Everyone who knew dad spoke to him as if he had the wisdom of the ages - and in many ways he did. He was, quite simply, amazing.
For myself, I am taking it one minute at a time. I am trying to work up to one hour at a time, then two, and so on. I find myself reaching out to hold my husband's hand in the middle of the night to be sure that I am not alone. I'm not alone.
We gave Daddy the greatest gift we could have given him. We were all there with him when he passed away. Perfect ending to an exceptional life. Dad, we miss you. We love you. We hope you are jitterbugging in heaven, and that Mamma and Pappa are there with you. God speed, Daddy. May our dreams and remembrances of you never fade, but may the pain lessen as we move on. You always were and always be our Hero.